04.23.2013 § Leave a Comment
Could there be a better tweet from CHER?!
Well, there could be. She could tweet, “Going to be hanging out with @npk412 at the house today,” but that’s neither here nor there. Yet. OOOOOMG.
Anyway, back to the excitement at hand. Really, it doesn’t get much better than this.
I JUST FINISHED MY CD 💋—
Cher (@cher) April 21, 2013
Now I’m going to have to make sure to save up some vacation time. Will need one day to go get the album … and then the following week to listen to it!
Until then, C, I’ll be watching for that second tweet about when we’re hanging out.
04.11.2013 § 8 Comments
In 1997, when I was in seventh grade, I stood in front of our bathroom mirror and admitted to myself that I was gay. While I’d been coming to understand that about myself slowly, it was the first time I said those words out loud to myself. I cried, silently, and then went to bed and stared at the ceiling. Terrified.
For as long as I could remember, I knew that I was different. That there was something about me that wasn’t like everyone else around me. Up until then I was too young to know what it was, but it was there.
By the time I hit middle school, I knew there was a word for it.
I also knew that it was a word that I would have to hide from everyone for what, at the time, seemed like would have to be for the rest of my life. I even accepted that I would have to contain that inside, too young to even comprehend that someone ever knowing my secret could be an option.
So I went on.
I bought the clothes that everyone else bought, took the classes that everyone else took. I’d watch what I said and would do everything in my power to be just like everyone else, hiding anything that I felt could potentially set me apart.
Luckily, I had the best group of friends that I could have had make those years of middle and high school as great as they could be. And, even though I knew I had to hide who I knew I was from them for my own protection, they loved me and were there for me always. For them and all those times together, I will forever be thankful.
When I then went away to college I was very aware that I could not keep this secret inside any longer. And while it would take nearly my whole freshman year to build up the strength and courage to say three words, “I am gay,” I knew that it was time.
Ten years ago, on the eve of my nineteenth birthday, I came out to my parents and sister. While two weeks before that I had first started telling my closest of friends, I have always considered those moments alone with my mom, dad and sister to be the moments that would forever change the direction of my life.
It would mark the moment when the weight of having to hide who I was for all those years would start to lift. The walls of protection that I’d built up so tirelessly, so resiliently would finally start to come down.
It would take time for me to know how to be myself with others. I had spent nineteen years convincing everyone of who I was not. But now I had the freedom and power of being honest. I had the power of being real.
No more convincing would be needed.
From those days forward, I was a new person experiencing life in ways that I’d never known. Even something as simple as being able to finally play a favorite CD around a friend, the same CD that up until then I had hid for when I was in my car alone because it had Cher’s All or Nothing on it, was something not to be taken for granted.
Now today, on the eve of my twenty-ninth birthday, I still do not for one second take what I have or who I am for granted. I’ve grown to proudly live my life with honesty, kindness and integrity. But most importantly, I am able to live a life where I am just who I am.
I am blessed that I can do so at work. That I can do so with friends. That I can do so with family. And while we live in a world where there is still much progress to be made, it is being made. Progress that hopefully one day gets us to a place where to “come out” will be a thing of the past. Where children can grow to become who they are, never having to think about how they may be “different” or thinking that they have to hide from who they are. Where it doesn’t matter who you grow to love, but that you love. Where acceptance is inherent.
We’ll get there.
Until then, I will continue to appreciate and learn from the history and struggles of those who bravely stood up and battled for me to be able to live as openly as I do today. I will stand up for myself and others to continue the push forward. And hopefully I will also one day set an example and provide hope for someone who is just beginning their own journey—someone who may come across this writing who is lying in bed tonight, unsure of what the future holds.
To that reader, I will tell you that it may be hard. It may seem impossible. But it doesn’t just get better. It gets fabulous.
And if you are as lucky as I am, you’ll be able to fill your life with people that are full of spirit, happiness and joy. You’ll live a life where there is nothing you would change about who you are. Not for a single minute.
Today, ten years later, I am proud of who I was.
I am proud of who I am.
And I will always listen to All or Nothing whenever and as loudly as I want.
To all the fabulous people in my life – I want you there listening with me.
04.07.2013 § Leave a Comment
I’ve been eating a lot of eggs this week.
Mainly because when I went to the grocery store last weekend I was craving eggs and failed to buy much else. But I’m not complaining. I really do love a good egg.
So in trying to use up these said eggs and also having a container of mixed greens that I needed to deal with, I thought I’d try out a bottle of Thai Yellow Curry Sauce from Trader Joe’s that I was gifted and give the combo a go.
The result was delicious and made for a perfect afternoon breakfast/post gym snack.
The Thai Yellow Curry Sauce is going to be a new staple in my kitchen, but I may give the egg/greens combo another whirl with some other toppings too.
Just will have to see what I’m gifted next!
04.06.2013 § Leave a Comment
Either I’m very smart — or very lazy.
Instead of just walking to the next room and grabbing a new soap, I set the empty soap on the edge of my sink as to remind me that I need to get out a new soap.
If you know me, you know I can be a little particular. Yet somehow, I’m completely fine with this type of procrastination. It somehow makes the process of getting out a new soap feel like a true accomplishment for the day.
Now I just need to figure out when I’m going to find the time to get out a new body wash. I’ve got a bottle on the edge of the shower that’s running a little low.
Eh, enough accomplishments for one day. I’ll save that for tomorrow.
04.04.2013 § Leave a Comment
04.01.2013 § Leave a Comment
I learned a few things tonight when trying a recipe my sister found on Pinterest and recommended that I try.
Those lessons are:
- I don’t know the correct temperature at which to cook things, which results in overly darkened pancakes (some may or may not call that burnt).
- I don’t know how to flip pancakes.
- I don’t know how to pour a smaller pancake after I learn in lesson number two that I don’t know how to flip pancakes.
- Pancakes taste the same, even when they’re not prettily flipped.
Regardless, the number five thing (again, some may or may not call that “the fifth thing”) that I learned is that when mixing 2 parts egg to 1 part banana (yes, that’s it!) and mashing it together you get a great-tasting “pancake” batter.
Here was my result after 4 eggs and 2 bananas.
And it only takes about 15 minutes. Unless you’re taking pictures along the way for your blog. Then factor in an extra five.