Oh, Blythe.

Having concerns about postmenopausal osteoporosis? Losing your ability to control your bladder and don’t know where to turn? How about that pesky denture problem ruining your life and any chance of ever eating an apple again?

If you’re facing any of these dilemmas, I may be a good person to turn to.

“What? Why? Get away from me,” you’re probably thinking right about now.

But no, really. I probably wouldn’t be all that bad of a resource for you. Because apparently my TV thinks I’m a seventy-eight-year-old lady.

I feel like when I’m not fast forwarding through commercials I’m constantly hearing Blythe Danner talk about how hearing “break a leg” before she goes on stage is no longer funny. Or how some couple in retirement “has their life back again” now that their teeth are secured.

Blythe Danner in TV commercial

I think my point to this (the sub-point being that I’m not looking forward to getting on in years) is that I need to start watching programming that’s more appropriate for my demo. Like The Voice. Or Smash. Or just about anything that doesn’t run on the Lifetime or Oxygen network.

But then again, if seeing age-appropriate commercials means giving up my Golden Girls, then I’m sorry. I will continue to sigh to myself and think, “Oh, Blythe,” whenever she flashes on my screen.

It’s worth it.

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